Can Someone Please Tell Me Where I Left My Shoes?

It's the story of my life.

archive | rss | random

following

brain itches Theme by Adam Holwerda.

Today, my friend made me a bet that she would give me all the money in her pocket if I could go a whole day without cracking any perverted jokes. I did it, and at the end of the day she gave me 69 cents. And I laughed. MLIA

Today, at the planetarium, we were in the moon area. All over one wall were post-its for the children to answer the prompt “I want to be the first _______ on the moon.” Most of them said “first firefighter” or “first princess.” One kid put “I want to be the first vampire slayer on the moon.” Made my day. You go, little guy. MLIA

Today I looked in the front of my math textbook to see if I knew anyone who’d used it before me. It said - Name: Michael Jackson, Issued: Black, Returned: White. That totally made my day. MLIA

Today I was in Spanish class when my teacher said he likes hot dogs wrapped in bacon. My teacher is the head of my school’s vegetarian club. MLIA

Today I decided that for my wedding, instead of having a flower girl, I’m going to have a crunchy leaf girl who will spread crunchy leaves on the ground so that I can step on them as I walk down the aisle. MLIA.

Some Kentucky pictures. I start work on Monday!

(via likeneelyohara)

(via likeneelyohara)

fuckyeahequines:

elizabethhdavis:

via Flickr- michelle k. a.

fuckyeahequines:

elizabethhdavis:

via Flickr- michelle k. a.

fuckyeahncis:

pasadora:

TONY: Gibbs gave you a mission. Everybody is counting on you. Just do what you do best.ABBY: Dance?TONY: Talk!ABBY: (nods)—NCIS 5x14Gawd, I loved that episode. So many good scenes. :D

pasadora:

TONY: Gibbs gave you a mission. Everybody is counting on you. Just do what you do best.
ABBY: Dance?
TONY: Talk!
ABBY: (nods)

—NCIS 5x14

Gawd, I loved that episode. So many good scenes. :D

fuckyeahncis:

pasadora:

GIBBS: (gives Ziva a knife) The FBI car out front.ZIVA: Got it.GIBBS: Ziva! Their tires, not their throats. — NCIS 5x14Good that he mentioned it. You can never be sure with Ziva. :P LOL

pasadora:

GIBBS: (gives Ziva a knife) The FBI car out front.
ZIVA: Got it.
GIBBS: Ziva! Their tires, not their throats.

— NCIS 5x14

Good that he mentioned it. You can never be sure with Ziva. :P LOL

proust73:

incurable: The Platypus is the only Australian mammal known to be venomous.Endemic to Australia and one of only five egg-laying mammal species in the world, the platypus feeds almost entirely in water and generally at night. Using the touch and electro-receptors on its distinctive bill, it spends several hours foraging along streambeds, consuming approximately 13-28 percent of its body weight in freshwater invertebrates. Females feeding young can consume almost their own body weight of these mostly tiny animals in a single day.

incurable: The Platypus is the only Australian mammal known to be venomous.

Endemic to Australia and one of only five egg-laying mammal species in the world, the platypus feeds almost entirely in water and generally at night. Using the touch and electro-receptors on its distinctive bill, it spends several hours foraging along streambeds, consuming approximately 13-28 percent of its body weight in freshwater invertebrates. Females feeding young can consume almost their own body weight of these mostly tiny animals in a single day.

Today, at the mall my 6 year-old son wanted his picture taken with Santa. So when it was his turn instead of sitting on his lap my son pulled out his fake wand and yelled, “Avada Kedavra!” Santa clutched his heart and pretended to die. Half the kids started to cry. MLIA.

(via likeneelyohara)

(via killerwhales)

(via killerwhales)

theanimalblog:

FFFFOUND! | image009.jpg 560×367 pixels

FFFFOUND! | image009.jpg 560×367 pixels

kidskidskids:

(via loveyourchaos)

(via loveyourchaos)